Two men get chatting on a train journey about their jobs and their lives. One jokes that he’s a bit of an idiot who’s never got very far in life but he doesn’t mind because he’s basically happy.
The other is a little more serious, and points out that he’s a university professor with a genius level IQ.
Continue reading “Battle of wits between a genius and an idiot – but which is which!”
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A lawyer was enjoying a fishing holiday on a Kerry river when he landed a beautiful trout. Just as he pulled it in, the farmer who owned that stretch of river walked by.
“A grand catch,” said the farmer. “I’ll be obliged if you pass it up to me now and I’ll take it home for my dinner.”
Continue reading “Who can take most kicks to the balls…the lawyer or the farmer?”
Three friends are discussing their how life’s been treating them as they get older.
“I’m getting so forgetful,” says Dermot.” My kids say I’m always repeating myself over and over again.”
Continue reading “Someone’s at the door…three forgetful old men are baffled”
A handsome young man with a twinkle is his eye wanted to become an actor and so set about finding an agent in Hollywood.
The first one he tried was very impressed with the young man’s potential. He was good looking, had a great sense of humour and could sing and dance like he was born to it. The agent was keen to sign him until he discovered the budding actor’s name: Penis van Lesbian.
Continue reading “How an unknown actor changed his rude name to become a Hollywood legend”
The great scientist Albert Einstein was on a lecture tour of America and was starting to feel the pace.
“I’m sick and tired of all these meetings,” he moaned to his driver, who had a shock of white hair and looked remarkably like the great man. “All I do is say the same old things over and over again.”
Continue reading “Einstein’s driver turns out to be a quick-witted genius himself”
Kathleen and her husband Donal were driving from New York to Chicago and wanted to cover as much distance as possible before stopping for the night.
They eventually pulled into to a hotel at 11.30pm and went straight to bed as they wanted to be back on the road again by 6 the next morning.
Continue reading “Kathleen has the perfect comeback when a hotel overcharges her”
Brian was sitting down to dinner in a hotel when he saw an attractive young woman on the next table.
Suddenly she sneezed and a glass eye came out of her eye socket and landed in his lap. She jumped up immediately to apologise and she was clearly mortified with embarrassment.
Continue reading “Brian smitten by a woman whose beauty is literally eye-catching”
Four friends were taking their annual fishing holiday in Galway but left it late to book and were unable to get single rooms.
The hotel only had two doubles left. This meant one of them would have to share a bed with Donal who was notorious for his thunderous snoring. Rather than one of them having to spend the whole week with him, the other three decided to take turns.
Continue reading “The perfect way to stop a man snoring when you have to share the same bed”
Six-year-old Suzie’s family decided to have a large garage extension built on to their house. When the builders started work, Suzie was sent out to bring them tea and biscuits occasionally.
She soon became a favourite with the rough diamond builders who started to find ways to make her feel part of the team. They gave her little pretend jobs to do to do make her feel important, like holding a tape measure or giving her opinion on whether a wall was straight or not.
Continue reading “Little Suzie learns more than her parents expect while helping the builders”
Joe lost his job when his factory closed and he was desperate to find any work he could so he could feed his family.
He saw an ad for a janitor at a large bank in Dublin city centre. He sailed through the interview easily and was offered the job sweeping floors on a minimum wage of €9.25 an hour.
Continue reading “Joe’s lack of an email costs him a job but earns him a fortune”