Dozy Dermot makes a monkey out of the police man

Dozy Dermot makes a monkey of a local police officer...

Dozy Dermot was walking through Dublin when he saw a monkey sitting on the pavement. It seemed quite tame so he gave it some sweets and started talking to it.

They were getting on fine when a policeman came up and spoke angrily to Dermot: “What do think you’re doing? That monkey shouldn’t be here. Take him to the zoo.”

Dermot was a bit shocked by the angry tone and said he’d take the monkey there right away.

Dozy Dermot makes a monkey of a local police officer...

The next day the officer walked past the same spot and saw Dermot and the monkey together in the same spot.

“What the hell is going on?” said the officer. “I thought I told you to take that monkey to the zoo!”

“I did,” said Dermot. “And he liked it so today I’m taking him to the funfair.”

Click here for more jokes about embarrassing mistakes

You never know how weird your friends are. until you have to describe them to someone else

Sometimes I like to have glass of water…it doesn’t half confuse my liver.

**********

Isn’t maddening when you know all the answers but no one asks the questions?

Did you know...

Fans of Game of Thrones can soon visit some of the key filming locations in Northern Ireland, in a move that will provide a huge tourism boost for the area. Find out more.

A two-minute film from showcases Irish dancing in all its glory. It sees Cork trio Kieran Hardiman, Alan Kenefick and Ciaran Plummer performing their perfectly choreographed routine around the grounds of University College Cork. Find out more.

Female Irish warrior Grainne Ni Mhaile, or Grace O’Malley is one of the most colourful characters in Irish history. Born around 1530, she was a Pirate Queen and became a constant thorn in the side of British Queen Elizabeth I. Find out more.

Bealtaine Fire - magical Celtic design

Winter wonderland