How kids can let you down about ‘who slept with mammy while daddy’s away’

Kids greet their dad at the airport and tell him ‘who slept with mammy while he was away’...

A man arrived home from a business trip late at night during a terrible storm full of thunder and lightning.

He saw that his two small children had crept into bed with his wife because they were frightened by the noise. He slept in the spare room but the next morning he explained that while it was ok to creep into mammy’s bed if they were frightened, they should normally stay in their own room and let mammy sleep alone.

He made them promise they would try to do that.

Kids greet their dad at the airport and tell him  ‘who slept with mammy while he was away’...

A week later, the mother brought the children to meet him at the airport as he returned from another business trip.

They children raced towards him, eager to please and looking for praise as they shouted out so everyone could hear. “Daddy, no one slept with mammy while you were away.”

The whole terminal went quiet as all the other passengers looked at the children, then at the man…and then started glancing all around the airport to try to work out who was the mother.

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Francis staggered into a bar and said 'give me a drink quick... just had another fight with the wife.' 'Again,' said the barman 'how did it end this time?' 'She crawled up to me on her hands and knees and started screaming... 'Stop hiding under the bed you little wimp!''

Molly and Peter didn’t know each other that well but they were both reaching the age of 100 in the same week so the retirement home where they lived decided to throw a party. Both sets of families arrived on the big day and conversations started to flow.

Molly introduced Peter to her son, Mikey. “How old are you Mikey,” asks Peter.

“I’m 81.”

Peter turns to Molly and says: “Ah, they grow up so fast these days.”

**********

A priest was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when he was approached by a dishevelled man who smelled heavily of drink.

“Please father, I haven’t eaten for a week. Could you spare me a few euros for some food to get my strength back?”

“How do I know you won’t spend it all on drink?”

“Not at all Father, sure I haven’t plenty of money for drink.”

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