Sooper dooper kitchen scooper has a very unsavoury purpose

Mary could never use her kitchen utensil again after a chance meeting

Mary inherited a fantastic little kitchen tool from her mother that she soon started using all the time. It was a kind of cross between a slotted spoon and a spatula. It had dozens of uses and was far better than some of her own expensive utensils.

Mary wondered where her old mother had got it because she had never seen anything like it in the kitchen utensil section of the big department stores. She imagined it must have been made when her mother was young and then later discontinued as it fell out of fashion.

The mystery continued until one day Mary was passing through the local park when she saw a man walking his dog. The dog suddenly squatted to do its business and the man moved in to clean up.

Mary could never use her kitchen utensil again after a chance meeting

Mary looked on his horror as he got a spoon/spatula looking tool from his pocket and used it to put the dog’s mess into a plastic bag. The realisation hit home. Her wonderful, multipurpose kitchen utensil was a dog’s pooper scooper.

She never used it again.

Click here for more jokes about embarrassing mistakes

I was born with my heart on my sleeve, a fire in my soul, and a mouth I can't control

A drunk was arrested and taken into court.

The judge said: “You’ve been brought here for drinking.”

“Great, I’ll have a whiskey,” the drunk replied.

**********

The teacher was emphasising the need to be quiet when they attended church on a Sunday. “Can anyone tell me why,” she asked.

“In case we wake all the people sleeping,” said little Sharron.

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