The perfect way to stop a man snoring when you have to share the same bed

A noisy snorer's friend has the perfect way to keep him quiet on a weeklong fishing trip

Four friends were taking their annual fishing holiday in Galway but left it late to book and were unable to get single rooms.

The hotel only had two doubles left. This meant one of them would have to share a bed with Donal who was notorious for his thunderous snoring. Rather than one of them having to spend the whole week with him, the other three decided to take turns.

The first one to sleep in the same bed came down to breakfast the next morning looking exhausted. “The noise from Donal’s snoring is deafening,” he moaned. “I couldn’t sleep. I just sat up and watched him all night.”

A noisy snorer's friend has the perfect way to keep him quiet on a weeklong fishing trip

It was the same story for the second man the next night. “It’s like sharing a room with a fog horn. I just had to sit up and watch him all night.”

The next night it was the turn of Brian, a big burly rugby player, to share with Donal.

The following morning, Brian came down to breakfast looking happy and refreshed, with a spring in his step and a smile on his face.

The others were amazed. “How come you look so good?”

“Well it was easy. I just gave Donal a little kiss and cuddle when I got into bed and he jumped up and watched me all night.”

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Drink alcohol... because no great story started with someone eating a salad

A lawyer got very defensive when a potential client asked him if he was honest.

“You want to know if I’m honest. My dad lent me 100,000 euros to fund my education and straightaway after my first case, I paid it all back.

“Oh,” said the client, impressed. “What happened in the case?”

“Dad sued me for the money.”

**********

He said ‘I’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. ‘ I thought ‘That’s a turn-up for the books.
Tommy Cooper

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