Whiskey and the wife

Irish drinking jokes - A man drinks whiskey and looks at a photo of his wife...

A man goes into a pub and orders a shot of whiskey. Then he looks at a picture in his wallet and orders another shot.

Then he orders another shot and looks at the picture again.

This goes on for several drinks until the barman can no longer resist and asks him what’s going on.

Irish drinking jokes - A man drinks whiskey and looks at a photo  of his wife...

“Well,” said the man. “The picture is of my wife. I always look at her between drinks and when she starts to look good I know I’ve had too much so I go home.”

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Drink driving

The police in my area were clamping down on drink driving so I knew I had to be careful after having a skinful with the lads. I wanted to be responsible so I took a taxi home. On the way back there was a road block but no one ever suspects a taxi so it was waved through.

Thankfully I arrived home safely without incident, which is a bit a miracle really because I was blind drunk and I’ve never driven a taxi before.

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Irish jokes - If you don't drink...

The early bird may get the worm…but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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My wife told me to stop singing I’m a Believer by the Monkees because I sounded terrible. I thought she joking but then I saw her face…

Did you know...

Despite funerals being the saddest of occasions, they often produce wonderfully warm and life-affirming poems and blessings. The Irish have a great tradition for funeral poems and blessings. Find out more.

Some of the most popular surnames in Ireland have histories that go back hundreds, even thousands of years. Several originated from the ancient Irish clans that ruled various parts of the country over the centuries. Find out the stories of some of the most common names in Ireland.

Brian Boru is known as the last High King of Ireland and is even credited with seeing off the Vikings who had terrorised the Irish for over 200 years. Find out more.

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