Whiskey and the wife

Irish drinking jokes - A man drinks whiskey and looks at a photo of his wife...

A man goes into a pub and orders a shot of whiskey. Then he looks at a picture in his wallet and orders another shot.

Then he orders another shot and looks at the picture again.

This goes on for several drinks until the barman can no longer resist and asks him what’s going on.

Irish drinking jokes - A man drinks whiskey and looks at a photo  of his wife...

“Well,” said the man. “The picture is of my wife. I always look at her between drinks and when she starts to look good I know I’ve had too much so I go home.”

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Drink driving

The police in my area were clamping down on drink driving so I knew I had to be careful after having a skinful with the lads. I wanted to be responsible so I took a taxi home. On the way back there was a road block but no one ever suspects a taxi so it was waved through.

Thankfully I arrived home safely without incident, which is a bit a miracle really because I was blind drunk and I’ve never driven a taxi before.

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Irish jokes - If you don't drink...

The early bird may get the worm…but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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My wife told me to stop singing I’m a Believer by the Monkees because I sounded terrible. I thought she joking but then I saw her face…

Did you know...

People with Irish roots have a great opportunity to start searching their family history for free thanks to ancestry.ie who have made more than ten million records available online. The family tree website has published Catholic Parish Registers dating from 1655 all the way up to 1915. Find out more.

Great fun - A bride and groom treated their guests to a session of traditional Irish dancing for their first dance as a marriage couple during their wedding reception. Check it out here.

St Patrick’s story is partly fact, partly legend and partly and merging of the two. Much of what we know about him comes from two documents that he wrote once he was established as the head of the church in Ireland. Find out more.

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